What makes you happy? Losing weight (quantity) or feeling good (quality)

I haven't blogged here in sooo long.
But that's because I've been slipping up.
I'm not so strict any more as I was when I started this out. But I haven't given up either.

My weakness -- I wont wake up and exercise. I know it's my undoing but I won't budge.
Motivation is such a beautiful word but it's not in mydictionary currently.

I'm still eating fairly healthy, but without exercise, that's only 50 per cent of the effort, right?

I finally weighed myself, reluctantly, about two weeks ago. On the same scale I'd weighed myself at the beginning of this blog. And I've only lost 200 grams!!!!

But, and this is a BIG BUT -- I've been fitting into clothes I'd put away six months after I gave birth to my son. I need belts on my jeans and trousers. My boobs have grown a wee bit smaller - I fit into tops I couldn't earlier.

But that goddamn tummy......can I just like cut it all off smoothly with a butterknife?

I don't exactly look like I have a figure...I'm nowhere close to THAT. But, I'm not feeeling too miserable either. Some pride I do take in the facts that:
1. My eating portions have come down (which was initially so difficult for me to achieve).
2. I'm able to keep off my evening hunger with some dry fruits, fruits and water till I actually eat dinner.
3. Overall, my energy levels and self-image are better (except when I look in the mirror ;-)

So is this qualitative "betterment" a good show in my life? I think so....at least I'm not distressed and depressed about my looks and weight.

Easy high-protein breakfast: traditional Indian is the way to go

I haven't been posting here regularly, which means I haven't really been sticking to my diet or exercise routine.
BAD.
But I will get back to it, I'm confident.

In the meanwhile, here's a recipe for a good kickstart for the day -- it's vegetarian, traditional Indian recipe, popular in most states in South India -- it's called pesarittu. Sometimes, all it takes is a little analysis and you realise what you have in your backyard is really so rich and fulfilling.

We vegetarians have a problem finding high sources of protein in the food we eat. Green gram or mung dal is one of them. It's always drilled into our heads that they are a high source of protein when eaten raw, better still if it's sprouted...when boiled it loses most of its protein content.

Since I hate eating it raw (soaked overnight), I turn it into pesarittu -- a dosa or pancake.

Here's the recipe: (Makes batter for about four people -- two dosas each)

1. Soak about two bowls of green gram overnight.

2. Also soak about three to four teaspoons of  rice flour in water and keep aside overnight.

3. In the morning throw the green gram into the mixer/blender, add to it some fresh ginger, coriander, about one green chilly, a small spoon of jeera, hing (asafoetida), salt and sugar to taste. Whizz it till it forms a grainy batter (you probably won't need to add water because there's some left from what you've soaked the green gram in)

4. You can mix in the soaked rice flour with a ladel after you remove it from the mixer or whip that in too.

5. Heat a tawa and spread out like a dosa -- a little oil to cook it makes it tastier. Flip and cook on the other side too.

We eat this with a fried gram (puthani in Kannada) chutney (will post recipe another day -- it's again very common in south Indian households). This, again I believe is a high source of protein. So there, it's a power packed high protein start to your day. Eat it with sambar too and there's more protein to add to your list of nutrition gained from the breakfast.

Honestly, these traditional Indian breakfasts are great starts for the day -- they make so much sense. They are fresh and non-processed, and taste great too. And I love to start my day with HOT breakfast. :-)

Why it's easier for me to diet

I really find it easy to stick to my diet, really, because it's largely become a part of my life, ingrained into my being. It hasn't happened overnight. It hasn't happened in a short while.

Sometimes we are doing things right and just don't realise it.

I've always been seen as a "healthy" eater at the workplace because:
1. I eat vegetables and fruits every day
2. I bring home-cooked food every day
3. I eat a raw salad with my food on most days (I'm not one of those who can eat just a salad for lunch -- doesn''t work for me ;-)

According to me, these steps means half the battle is won.

There are these other problems of mine which have made it easier for me to stick to my plan:
1. Whenever I eat out, I fall sick : It's not something I'm proud of, because it probably means my immunity sucks. But, it also means I AVOID eating out, which really is a big help. It's sometimes horrifying to develop a fear of eating out, but then it works to my advantage. You always notice how when you eat out, you eat more, and always feel heavier than when you eat at home, haven't you? I end up with loosies. So just two weeks ago when I told hubby I won't cook, and wanna eat out, I went ahead and ate a great meal, came home and well headed for the loo! I do have an underlying condition of IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), something I developed after I had a baby.

2. And then I have imagination:  My imagination goes haywire and I think of all the psossible cockroaches and rats in the restaurant kitchen, how they may not be covering the food, washing vegetables ...and it's enough to send my scurrying to the kitchen to whip up something special for myself AT HOME.

3. I seem to have developed some sort of allergy to fat -- specially deep-fried food. Again, I get the loosies.
So, I avoid fried food as much as I can. Which is really difficult because I LOVE FRIED FOOD. The taste of it...aaah... But these days I don't keep such food around the house and when I see fatty food these days, I honestly get repulsed. I do gorge on it once in a  way, but I've realised these instances have come down dramatically. So when I do feel like having fried food, I make it from scratch at home where I know the oil I'm using, at least, isn't re-fried.

But consistency is what matters and it hasn't been one of my strengths. I hate it when I set myself back, of my own volition, and have to start from where I left off...life should be one continuum...but then life wouldn't be fun!

Five diet modifications I made to lose weight

Here are just some of the changes I made in what I eat, how I eat, how often, and how much I eat in order to get a wee bit slimmer.

These are not very dramatic things. But these are the first few things about your eating patterns that you CAN easily change.

 I love my food and am not willing to give it all up entirely...I still eat chocolates and chips. And I have my bad days when, well, plans just derail, and I end up straying off the path.

But once you know that these small little itsy bitsy changes are making you feel better, that's incentive enough to keep going and coming back to THE PLAN if you stray.

Again, these are not strategies I devised all by myself, but this is what I FOLLOW (and it's largely from Rujuta Diwekar's book):
1. Eat fruit first thing in the morning. My favourite is plantain/banana. Very rarely apple or mango. Sometimes papaya. It revvs you up for the day, it's healthy food, and it makes you feel good about yourself. I believe in the philosophy that you must eat fruit before other food, not after, else it turns useless for the body. In case there's no fresh fruit, eat dry fruit -- my fav is almonds and raisins. Don't start the day with biscuits or tea/coffee.

2. Eat every two hours. It makes sure you eat less. It really works. It makes sure you don't get so hungry that you binge when you finally get your hands on food. Just munch and graze along.

3. Make food afresh. It has helped me a lot. I've always been a refrigerate-and-eat, ok-with-leftovers person. But now I'm changing that. It just FEELS so healthy to eat food afresh. I cook breakfast and lunch in the morning, and part of the dinner too. But there is something freshly made at dinner time. Yes, it takes time and effort, but it's worth it. It makes me feel good.

4. Smaller portion size. Smaller plates and bowls. Yes, they make a difference. Once you get used to smaller portion size (the most difficult part of a diet I feel) your stomach seems to shrink and get used to this new quantity. My example: I used to eat 4 idlis or 5 dosas. It's very difficult to stop at the ideal 2. Now I've come down to 2.5 or 3. And now, I can't eat more than that. It does take will power, though, to resist a second helping.

5. Eat all sorts of food for dinner, but eat less, and early. No sweets and fried food in this meal. Too early is not possible for me. That takes HUMONGOUS effort. But less and no sweets is a rule I can follow. Avoiding carbs at night doesn't work for me...I was raised on a high-carb diet since childhood. But I eat less rice at dinnertime. That works, I suppose. Also, since I eat late, eating less quantities eases digestion, so I sleep without heartburn -- a problem i had to face every night earlier.

Feels good when someone says "Hey! You've lost weight!"

Wow, so a colleague almost jumped when she saw me, after returning from a three-week tour, and exclaimed "Wow! What are you doing? You've lost so much weight!"

I mean, is there something else that can give you a higher "high"  than such a comment?
I haven't yet weighted myself after May when I started out on this weight-losing venture.

I haven't been keeping up with my diary entry every day here on the blog. Life has become so hectic at work and at home.

And this hectic schedule is what really gets us women out of shape. Again, I'm taking all inspiration from Rujuta Diwekar's book, agreeing with most of what she says, discussing the issues she tackles. We tend to ignore our needs so often because well, it's not tied up with the needs of our family. Husband is travelling, so I won't cook a propah breakfast, or will skip making a subjee and live off salad and bread maybe... You know, trying to convince yourself that "why should i cook just for myself?" or some such logic.

It's tragic we don't care much for ourselves as individuals, na? I know all this and yet I do it all over again. That's wither called weakness or stupidity...I can't decide.

Really, with Hubby travelling, with Sonny absolutely refusing to let me exercise (he wakes up soon after I wake and comes and pushes me or sits on my lap!!), it's becoming a challenge to keep with my schedule -- both with exercise and food. The last week I've let myself wander off track and in the process let myself down too much.

I MUST MUST MUST wake earlier. But aaarggh Bangalore's beautiful cloudy weather makes you want to curl up and sleep well into the morning these days.

What I am keeping at though, is smaller portions, more frequent meals. The size of  my tummy tires has reduced, though they're still clinging on steadfastly to my sides and front like a little child.

Started cycling...it's no more our clothes hanger

Today's been good. I'm feeling jumpy-nice
Stuck to my routine mostly, so feels like an achievement.

I started out with cycling today -- stationary -- of course. The exercise bike had been lying at home, most predictably converted into the clothes hanger. Found Hubby's shorts and towels and shirts clumped on it.

So after about three weeks of warming up and stretching and some breathing exercises and yoga, today I started cycling. Hoping to cycle at least twice a week. Of course, Hubby dismissed what I did today saying "You could have done much better". Thank You, old man. Very convenient for you to say, considering you've been gymming for over three years pretty consistently.

Anyway I'm not not going to let that deter me.

Started today with:
8.30 a.m -- half a mango.
10 am -- breakfast -- a veggie omlette (with tomatoes/onions/capsicum)+ two slices of 7-grain bread+ tea
12 pm -- a small handful of black currants and cashew
2.30 pm -- lunch -- 2 chapatis+ capsicum, onion and kadlebele (channa dal) sabji+ a small cup of pongal/khichdi
will hopefully have my tea by 4 :-)


I've realised that adding some kind of dal in my subji is the only way and easy way to get more protein into my vegetarian diet Of course I have one helping in the night of dal/saar/sambar but generally felt that's not enoughh so....

Ate a fudge sundae and didn't feel guilty

I haven't been posting in a while.
But update-wise, I've mostly been sticking to my plant five days in a week. Which is saying a lot.
Ok I've been slipping up on the exercise front. But still, it's not too bad a deal.

I've been sticking to the "eat every two hours" policy.
1. Morning is fruit/dry fruit
2. breakfast is traditional Indian fare -- poha/upma/idli/dosa, sometimes bread toast, and Maggi
3. Mid morning is either buttermilk or fruit/dry fruit
4. Lunch is my standard 2 rotis+subji+salad+curd rice
5. Evening is where I've been goofing up, but again mostly fruit/sandwich/bhel puri
6. dinner is again 1 roti+subji+salad+rice with sambar/rasam/dal and curd

My achievements so far :
1. My trousers have gotten loose at the waist!!!! Two pairs of them, which i mostly squeezed into -- one jeans and one linen trouser. My tops have also gotten a bit airy and no longer cling to my wiggly tum.
2. AAAAAAH the size of the overhanging abdomen has reduced! I can see it and feel it. It's not like my tyre is completely gone or something...It's there. It still looks ugly when I sit down, but there is hope that I can work towards reducing the size bit by bit.
3. Overall I'm feeling more energetic, healthy and good that I'm doing myself and my body some good.
4. Today I ate a fudge sundae but am not feeling guilty about it. I didn't gobble it up. Just as much as I could eat and left the rest.

(I really hope to post more often but work has been so hectic and at home I spend some time cooking fresh food, organising the meals etc....so much to do)

It's so easy to lose control when you know you're dieting

The last two or three days have been wuzzy. Or maybe I choose to think that's what it was. Because I went way off the track that I started on.

On Saturday evening I went back home from work -- to mom's -- and i don't know what took over me. I decided I would eat one idli and that's it. A generous aunt had left behind some tempting spicy red tomato pickle. I just gorged on it with one idli and then lost contorl. I ate another half. Then I ate one chapati with it. Then some cheeselings. Then another chapati!!!! Of course I went easy on the dinner (I mean yeah, I don't skip dinner!) Laugh all you will. It was sheer indulgence.

Yesterday, Sunday, both meals of the day were had outside home. Dinner was pizza! Yeah yeah, says "tch tch" to me in disgust or laugh if you will. But I had fun eating the pizza and Rujuta Diwekar says only if you enjoy your food do you derive any benefit from it.

And while I am at guilt conession, I have another confession to make -- a good one  -- exercise, even the minimalist kind I'm doing right now, is really beneficial when you chum. I mean, way fewer cramps, lesser pain and discomfort overall. Yeah, three cheers to the joy of exercise.

Today I'm back to "the diet":
8 am --exercise
9 am -- a banana
10 am -- breakfast -- poha/avalakki upma and one glass tea
12.30 pm -- some spoons of poha again and a small glass of chikoo milkshake (no sugar)
2.15 pm - lunch -- two chapatis, potato/carrot/onion subjee (no salad today), half cup of raw plantain subjee.
3.45 pm -- one mug tea

Why is it so easy to give in to temptation?

Yesterday was not so great.
I gave in to may a temptation.

1. I didn't get up early to exercise. So I just skipped it. I was feeling tired, my back ached and my eyes were just closing shut after the alarm rang. So i just slept.

2. I didn't stick to the eat-once-in-two-hours schedule. Yesterday, work was so hectic, I couldn't keep track of what I was eating, couldn't put it down...will do now from memory.

3. Yesterday night I needed the comfort of rice. I was craving it. So I ate more rice than I have decided I will now.

There's those are my confessions for the day.

Day 4 (May 5):
(no exercise :-(  )
9.45 - breakfast - a bowl of bread upma and tea
11.30  - a slice of apple
12.30 - a chapati, curry of yam and potato, with raw carrot sticks for salad. (had to run out of office for work mid-lunch)
2 pm - finished the lunch with the remaining one chapati and a few spoons of curd rice
4.30 pm - tea and bengal gram usli (boiled and cooked with spices/seasoning and coconut)
7 pm - half an apple and a few spoons of ragi semia (noodles made of a kind of millet)
9 pm - dinner - one egg-and-chapati roll, methi dal-rice, curd rice.

Day 5 (May 6)
7.30 am - exercise - i'm able to do more rounds or cycles of the same stretch and warm ups
didn't have time for fruit today :-(
10 am - breakfast - two rottis made from a mix of flour of jowar/wheat/besan, spices, coriander, grated cucumber and chopped onion. Mint (pudina) and coriander (kothambri), grated coconut, ginger, spices and fried gram went into the chutney. Had it with some ghee.
2 p.m.-- lunch -- macaroni mixed with fresh veggies -- carrot/tomato/cucumber -- seasoning -- lime, salt, sugar, pepper, oregano. Also a few pieces of khakhra.

My grandma should be my ideal

I really think my grandma's one smart cookie. We recently celebrated her 90th birthday, TOUCH WOOD, and at that age she's far more health than her daughter (my mom) -- BIG TIME TOUCH WOOD.

My point is, I need to learn from her this thing called "how to look after yourself, respect your body, and have fun". She's had a good pampered childhood, but loaded with activity for the kind of conservative era she lived in -- she cycled, climbed trees, an swam too, among other things. She ate calorie rich food and lots of daiy.
Post marriage, life was tough at the in-laws where she slogged in the kitchen, slaved for hours at the grinding stone, preparing food for a large joint family. Life was good in the later years when, for the first time, perhaps in her late 30s or early 40s she bloated into a barrel.

Now she's back to her dancer look -- she's got the narrowest prettiest waist in the family, stands quite tall, hasn't bent over. She never misses her morning walk, unless she's unwell or its raining. She loves her pastries and chocolates and will never say no to one. But if she eats even a morsel more than her normal meal -- which is mainly cooked vegetables, rice, rasam and curd -- she'll simply skip the next meal. Once a week, she skips dinner -- her upavasa on Saturday night. She gives in to temptation easily, enjoys and savours her food. But knows when to stop and say no.

I wish I could follow her principles....

Diary Day 3
7.45 am - warming up exercises and yoga again today but couldn't exercise continuoysly thanks to Sonny who wanted some attention in between.
9. 30 am - one yelakki banana
10 am -- breakfast -- one bowl avalakki upma (poha) and one slice brown bread, one glass tea.
1.30 pm - lunch - two chapatis, gorikai palya (clusterbeans curry with tomatoes and onions), five spoons of curd rice (its one-fourth of what i would normallly eat-- the curd rice quantity)

My aim so far has been to cut down portion sizes. Where I would earlier eat breakfast in a large plate, I'm trying to eat out of a bowl in an attempt to cut down the size of its contents. So in that sense I'm not eactly making any dramatic changes. I have reduced the quantity of oil with which i cook -- while earlier i would pour oil into the pan/kadai from a nozzled-bottle to make subjee, i now measure out the oil in spoons -- two for rasam/sambar, three or four for subjee (for two meals for hubby and me -- both of us carry our lunch to work and eat dinner at home usually).
What I'm also deperately trying to do is cut down the quantity of rice i eat and increase the helping size of  vegetable and dal/rasam -- this is so difficult, because rice is my comfort food.

Visceral fat, liposuction and God! I eat so much

Diary -- day 2

7.30 am - 30 mins of warming up exercises, added two more to yesterday's routine (i haven't exercised in a looong while so i'll have to try and figure out what kind of muscles exist in my body!) I had an exclusive yoga plan drawn out for me last year by a generous young yoga teacher -- a girl who was so nimble she looked like an acrobat when she did the asanas-- i pulled out that plan and tried to figure out which of those I could start with. So there, one more step taken in the right direction.
8. 45 am- one yelakki banana
9. 45 a.m - two slices bread toast (one with jam and one with a tad of butter) with some Maggi (yeah I know that's hardly diet food :-) )
12.45 pm -- two almonds and some black currants
2.30 pm -- lunch - two wheat chapatis, one bowl of bottlegourd-onion subjee, a small cup of salad (ingredients same as yest), and a few spoons of curd rice (I'm a propah south Indian and can't live without my mosaranna/tair saadam)
4.30 pm -- one mug tea with a few spoons of the canteen rava upma

(Will complete this tomorrow)...ok completing it:
6.30 pm -- a few almonds and black currants
8 pm -- i started craving food, was getting really upset and cranky and did what i shouldn't have -- grabbed an almost fistful of batata chiwda (fried potato savory) and stuffed it in. Felt great ;-) I was at mom's and didn't want to eat till I got home to have a proper dinner. Once i got home I realised i had to cook the rasam still -- so went ahead and grabbed a few morsels of khakra and half a laddoo (antina unde to be precise loaded with ghee, jaggery, and dried fruits).
9 pm -- dinner -- one chapati with the same sabji and one cup rasam. Followed by rasam rice and curd rice.

I just completed yesterday's diary and realised something -- i eat quite a LOT. I mean, compared to the physical activity (or rather inactivity) to burn the calories.
I can't exactly count the calories, but damn, now I know why most gyms/slimming centres ask you to maintain a food diary! I really didnt know what i was eating. eeeeeeeek...

I have also learnt one another rather inspiring thing, searching around, and reading up. The stomach fat -- ok let me own it -- MY stomach fat is mainly called visceral fat. And, once you start exercising, the good news is, its one of the first areas from which fat is burnt. Yipeee! Some cheer

We have a horrible habit in office -- we women all look at our stomachs and try to see who's got the biggest one popping out of our dress -- gross, yes. But it happens. So two of us were discussing liposuction just three or four days ago (no we weren't planning on it, just joking around about it) and then this!! Imagine having more fat in your top half and a taut bottom. Hah!

Starting on a new weight loss (hopefully) journey

The blog's title is self-explanatory.
The blog's URL explains my problem most vividly -- I'm always WAITING to lose weight and almost always doing nothing much to help it.

The last one week I have spent very seriously mulling over my life, how I want to be as I grow older, and realised my health has always been a sore point.
A lot of my problems stem from my rather sedentary life, absolute lack of exercise, sheer laziness, and a weakness for fried food and sweets. That, everyone will agree, is a deadly cocktail of a problem.

It has left me overweight most of my life -- I've moved from wanting to shed just 5 kilos to now about 8 to 10. This is after all the BMI calculation, visits to doctors for all sorts of problems. All the arrows pointed to the same thing -- exercise, lose some weight, maintain it and get healthy.

Easier said than done.

There are a whole lot of thoughts I need to put down on this, but I'm going to start off today with my "food/activity diary" for today. I don't know if I'll post it everyday. I'll try. Just as I will try to seriously get into an exercise regimen, just as I will hopefully eat sensibly and healthily.

I'm going to be 33 in a few months. I weigh 62.9 kilos (as of yesterday) and I'm 5 feet and a little less than two inches tall. That makes me, on an average, overweight by about 12 kilos technically. I'll be lenient and say 10. I've had a child three years ago and I have the most jiggly wiggly lower belly fat that disgusts me. Other gory descriptions in the following posts.

The last three days I've been reading Rujuta Diwekar's book "Women and the weight loss tamasha", highly recommended by the best friend. I've just made it up to page 75, so I'm not going to make too many comments on that right now, except to say that most of what she says sounds senseible. I'm first of all trying to follow her reccomendation of trying to eat smaller amounts of food every two hours.

Let me make some things clear
1. I am not embarking on any fad diet
2. I'm NOT going to simply change my food and sit waiting to lose weight
3. It does not mean I'm enrolling in a gym today. But I will slowly begin to build up some exercise regimen for myself.
4. I'm no expert and I'm going to try and find my way around this, like most people do.
5. I will not harm myself in any way in this process and will consult a doctor/dietician if things begin to go wrong.

Diary May 2, 2011
7.15 a.m. -- started with basic stretch and warming up exercises for 30 minutes.
8.45 a.m.-- ate a yelakki banana
9.40 a.m-- breakfast -- two onion dosas (rice/urad/maida/besan-mix) with half-spoon ghee and groundnut chutney powder. Half a glass of milk tea with Sugarfree. (I would earlier easily eat 3 or 4 dosas)
12.30 pm-- mid-morn snack -- 3/4 th of a methi khakra
2 p.m. - lunch -- two wheat chapatis with a cup of bhindi (okra/ladies finger) curry (homemade), quarter cup raw banana (balekai) subji (from our office canteen), a small bowl of salad (cherry tomatoes/yellow capsicum/cabbage/cucumber). (I would earlier also have curd rice with all this for lunch).
It's now 3.30 p.m. and I have to go down for my glass of tea. It's an addiction. I don't know how I'll hold up till tonight. Will edit this entry and complete the diary tomorrow.

Yeah, so completing it:

3.30 p.m. - one mug of tea
5.30 p.m. -- a few almonds and black currants
7 p.m -- one cup poha and a few spoons of salad (corn/cucumber/pomegranate) and a square of dark chocolate (ummm i'm not really dieting, am i!?)
9.30 p.m. -- one egg roll, one bowl rice eaten half with dal and half wih curd.